16 weeks...

16 weeks... 2 more weeks until the big anatomy scan... everything has been going good... it's Halloween weekend, so I thought I would share a picture...

Update...

Timmy's blood work came back great... he's NOT a carrier of SMA... so we're in the clear on that. Yesterday I had to get two shots of penicillin in my lower back/upper buttock b/c I already tested positive for Group B Strep... hopefully that just killed it for now... Next week I'll have my "bearing wall" put in, LOL! Basically something to support the weight of the baby so it's not on my cervix... and then the following week I'll start my weekly P-17 shots!! Lots of needles!!

3 weeks until a definite on what we're having!!! So far 3 guesses... at 12 weeks, Boy.... 13 weeks, Girl... 14 weeks, Girl.... I have been thinking girl the whole time.

Luckily I get to go to the doctor's every week, so far, for cervical length checks, so I get to see the amazing growth of our child, and hear their heartbeat weekly! I was told that when they do a 4D ultrasound, they could save it to a disc for me!! That would be an awesome keepsake! I can't wait!!!

One Year Ago....

It's been 1 year since I gave birth to our first son, Timothy Joseph.... I can't believe how quickly time has gone by! Seems like just yesterday. We miss him so much, even though he only lived for 29 minutes, he'll live forever in our hearts!

We didn't know what to do today... we both had to work, but we just spent the evening together, and lit his candle by his picture on the mantel. Left it burning extra long today, seeing that it's his birthday.

I know he's up above us all, watching over us... I miss him every single day...

Happy Birthday Timothy Joseph! Mommy and Daddy Love You!

SMA?!?!?!?!

One week after my cerclage was in, I couldn't believe it had been a week.... then I got home and received a voice-mail from my doctor's office to please call them. I thought it was to verify my appointment for the next day, but it wasn't the normal girl that called. I returned the call.. "Tracey Montague returning Heather's call..."

Heather came on the phone... my results from my genetic testing came back... Negative for Fragile X, but I tested positive as a carrier for Spinal Muscular Atrophy... the words sound scary, and the first thing I wanted to do was research, but I'm trying to hold back... I was told that Timmy needs to also be tested, because that will be a huge factor...

If Timmy is not a carrier, then our children only have a 1% chance of being born with SMA and will just need to be tested to see if they are a carrier of SMA when they get older...

If Timmy is a carrier, then our children will have a 25% chance of being born with SMA... or should I say, they have a 75% chance of not being born with SMA...

Just the pamphlet that they gave me the day I got tested... 1st sentence in BOLD says, the leading cause of early childhood death. WOW!!! But I will try not to read into it too much until we get back Timmy's test results. He went today to have his blood drawn, and the results should be in in the next 2-3 weeks.... And the wait begins... I thought my next milestone would be getting to 26 weeks so I would be further along than last time... but looks like we have a small milestone before then... getting through these next 2-3 weeks in one piece....

Another Milestone... Cerclage is in...

Today was the day... woke up early, got ready and headed to the doctors. NT Scan first, which went well... Our baby is already a trouble maker!! Not positioned right, and pushing off the side of my uterus every time he/she got into the right position... we will have our hands full!!! It was an awesome scan, b/c we got to see the baby move around, and even smile!!! The smile made the baby look like Pac-Man!!! After all that was done, it was off to the Tully Center.

Arrived at Tully at 10:30am... that's when I started shaking!! I was so nervous, even though I've been through it before... it's still going into an OR, which I don't like!!! We were taken into the Pre-Op room, where we sat and watched TV, as they set me up with my IV... then it was just waiting. Dr V was running late... I could've taken a nap!! Finally by about 12:30pm, he arrived... Walking to the OR was like the "green mile".... LOL! And the one thing I didn't forget about last time... How COLD the OR is!!! But luckily they give you nice warm blankets! I fought with the Anesthesiologist because she was giving me the lecture about how there are two ways of doing this, general or spinal... and how much better the spinal is, blah blah blah... I'm like, "listen lady... the guy that took my signature agreed on general... stop your babbling and put me out!" I don't want to hear the doctor's talking about their family, or golf game... I don't want to remember what they do during the procedure... I just want to breath deeply and wake up when it's done!!! Thankfully she did what I asked, not without attitude... but whatever! My doctor is awesome.. he knew I was getting aggravated, and worked up, so while I laid on the table getting all set, he held my right hand to calm me down. I tell you, he's my favorite doctor!!!

So I can't tell you much about the procedure, because I was asleep... but I remember waking up and making fun of Dr V for having a purple phone!! I was in good spirits, knowing that it was done. 1st level recovery didn't seem too long, but apparently I was in there for 45 minutes to an hour... I only remember about 20 minutes of it.... then I was taken to 2nd level, where Timmy got to come and sit with me.

Now I'm back home... recovering on the recliner.... I have heard people say they feel 90% better the next day! I have hope, and my fingers crossed!! When I get up and take pictures of our ultrasounds, I'll post those.... but for now, it's off to dream land!

1 week until the Surgery....

WOW... one week left until the Cerclage is placed. Time has actually passed by really quickly, I can remember finding out before we were even 4 weeks pregnant, and I thought it would take forever to get to this point!! Trying to think positive! I know everything will go over well, I trust my doctor completely... he's awesome! So instead of saying 1 week until the surgery... I'm going to say, "7 weeks until we find out if it's a boy or a girl!"!!!!!!!!!!

Another Week Down....

This past week was my first week back at work on modified hours. The hours are perfect. I get in, get work done and go home to sit on the couch. Feeling good, trying to stay positive that everything will be fine!

2-1/2 weeks until the cerclage surgery. I get nervous when I think about it, but I know my doctor is going to be the one performing the surgery, and I trust him with my life! Which is a good thing!! I would recommend him to anyone that needs a high-risk doctor.

We had our ultrasound appointment yesterday... and the ultrasound tech did a 3D image!!! I didn't think we'd get to see one until 18 weeks... it was so amazing!!!! Check it out on the ultrasound page. And we got to hear the heartbeat, at a rate of 179 beats per minute. Some say that girls have a higher heartbeat than boys... we will see in a couple more weeks!!!

So now it's one appointment next week and then I think just waiting for the 30th to have my NT scan, and then over to the Tully Center to have the surgery...

Modified Work Schedule...

So the doctor wanted me to be on bed-rest until my surgery on Sept 30th... OH BOY! I can't do that!!! I compromised, and I will be going back to work on a modified schedule, starting Tuesday, but will still be on strict bed-rest when I get home. It will be nice to get back to work... who would've thought that I would fight to go back to work!! LOL!!! So I am happy about that! And I figured I would put up the ultrasound pictures from the last three visits... You can check them out on the tab up top (Ultrasounds of Sweet Pea)... I will update that whenever we get a picture!!

Another Week...

I finally got out of the house today for the first time in a week... it was off to a doctor's appointment... Everything looks good with the baby, and the one near my ovary is starting to go away... so NO surgery for that... but because it's not down as far as they would like it, I am on another week of bed rest! Great! I have never actually WANTED to go back to work so bad!

Also, I have scheduled my surgery for my cerclage for September 30th... so I know I'll be out of work for the 30th and October 1st.

Hopefully this little snag will be the only one we catch this pregnancy, and everything else will go off without a problem! Keeping my fingers crossed!

But we did get our first two ultrasound pictures... I will get them up here soon... even though he/she is still just a little pea....

Rare... how does this happen...

Okay... so the term for what we have is, heterotopic pregnancy... this happens in 1 in 30,000 pregnancies. Our second pregnancy is in my ovary, one of the few places it can happen... and the possibility of it happening in the ovary? 0.2% chance! I swear... how is it that I get a rare occurrence to begin with, but for it to also be in the least common spot too? I just guess I have the worst luck!

I have to be thankful that the baby in my uterus was right on target when we went last week... we'll see how the baby is doing on Friday... and I still have my fingers crossed that the one in my ovary is just redissolving into my body so I don't have to have surgery.... few more days

Bed rest hasn't been too bad! I've just been taking it easy... catching up on some TV, being waited on... nothing better than that...

Can I Catch a Break??

So we went to the doctor's for our first ultrasound... We were taking bets on twins or not... empty the bladder and away we go.

I told the ultrasound tech about the concern for twins, so she looked around and searched to make sure... "only one," she said. We saw the little flicker of the heart, so precious. Then she continued to do all of her measurements, and it was back out to the waiting room to wait for the doctor.

When we went back in, the conversation began with, "the pregnancy is in-utero, but...." I don't like "but's".... I guess they saw something in one of my ovaries... that something was probably the twin of the baby that is in the uterus growing... he/she just didn't follow down the tube... So now they have placed me on strict bed rest for one week, and I will go back to the doctor's for another ultrasound in a week to see where we stand. It could go away on it's own, or if it starts to grow, I will have to undergo laproscopic surgery to remove the sac in the ovary. The doctor said that it will not harm the baby in the uterus, that my high risk doctor does a lot of those surgeries.

So now I had to tell my boss that I'll be out for a week, already, at only 6 weeks! Oh boy! This is going to be some journey!

I guess I just have to work extra hard at the one thing I want most in life...

A Family!

Another Jump...

Another test result for our HCG... again, I was expecting about 10,000, but the doctor called, and it is 21,639!!! So our first ultrasound is this Friday, the 20th, at 2pm.... During our preconception appointment we were told that we have a high possibility of having multiples, so I asked the doctor, "you said I should be over 6,000, but this is a lot higher... do you think these numbers would indicate more than one?" And you know what the answer I got was? "well, your numbers did double rapidly... but we won't really know anything until the ultrasound" WHAT!!! Now I'm not going to be able to concentrate until Friday at 2pm!

As much as I would love and embrace multiples, I am worried. The doctor said that more than one would put more pressure on my cervix, which would cause inevitable bed-rest... so we will see on Friday...

More waiting...

A week down of shots... can't say I've lucked out on no bruises, at all... Third blood-draw numbers from the 9th were 2331.... WOW! I was only expecting around 1100! So that's good... Had a timed blood test today to make sure my dose of Lovenox is right, and then I will have a final blood-draw on Monday morning for HCG, which will hopefully be followed by our first scheduled ultrasound!!!

I'm excited, but trying to keep things in perspective... there's a long road ahead of us, and I want to make sure I do everything to the best of my ability.

I have been so over-tired this past week.... napping every day last weekend, then dreading making it through a full work week without an afternoon nap... but I did fine! So we're just over 5 weeks... 35 more weeks to go!

Doubling #'s & Facing My Fears....

1st Blood-draw appointment went well on 8/3... our number 117. I got the call back from the nurse that there is a 2nd blood-draw to make sure the numbers are increasing, and to learn how to give myself the Lovenox shot. OH BOY!!! Anyone that knows me, knows I don't do well with needles! So in I went on Thursday, 8/5... got the blood-draw over with and went in to learn the Lovenox shot... I think the words, "Can I come back tomorrow?" came out... LOL! It was a long drawn out process, I was very stressed and tense.... but eventually I had to do it... Okay... it wasn't that bad! The first shot left me with a nasty bruise... GREAT! I can only imagine what my belly will look like in a few weeks... no "cute pregnancy belly" for me... Oh well...

Made it through shot #2 Friday morning, not as much of a bruise, and a lot easier - no stress or pressure. Work was nerve-racking, waiting for the call from the doctor's office about my numbers... And of course I miss the call, but she left me the voicemail... we're up to 272! More than double, that's great!!! I'm scheduled for blood-draw #3 on Monday, 8/9...

I'm now done with shot #3 too... and this one left NO bruise!!! I must be mastering this! Thankfully!!!!

Everything I went through with Timothy Joseph has made me stronger, as well as more paranoid! But he's given me the strength to face my fear of needles! Never in my life would I have thought that I would have to shoot myself up with a needle every morning, but I'm doing this for a good thing, no a GREAT thing!

Are my Eyes playing tricks on me????

Woke up this morning... knowing it was our testing day... I didn't really wait, but the other tests I took were all negative. So I hopped out of bed, and grabbed a test... off to the bathroom... and then wait... tick tock tick tock... 5 minutes later.... I can't tell, am I seeing something??? So I grab another test and dip again.... this is what I saw.... I asked Timmy... and he thinks he sees it too... but we are not sure....

If you look really closely, you can see a faint faint line to the left of the dark line... but to make sure, we had to get a better test....

So I tell Timmy... run to CVS get a better test... seeing that I was using cheap internet tests that I ordered before I got pregnant with Timothy Joseph... so off he went... I was pacing....

His car pulled up, and in he came.... time to try testing again...

This time the wait was only 3 minutes long.... we sat in the bedroom, while the test was in the bathroom. I promised Timmy he could be the first to look... watching the clock on my phone... tick tock tick tock... We are both VERY impatient... so finally, the time said 10:13am... and off Timmy went to the bathroom, me following close behind... he goes in, and I just watch his expression, (hoping that he wouldn't be playing with me).... and this is what he saw...

So many emotions ran through our minds... Happy, sad, excited, scared, joyous, nervous... all that are to be expected after last time...

Now to just wait out the weekend, so I can call the doctor's office bright and early Monday morning to set our 1st Appointment....

Waiting.....

I never knew how impatient I was.... tapping my fingers... pacing... just waiting. I try to do things to pass the time, but my mind just circles.... will this be the month??? I'm still excited but nervous!

And we just passed 9 months... 9 MONTHS!!! I can't believe it's been that long... feels like just yesterday I held Timothy Joseph in my arms.... I know he's watching over us. Boy I miss him!

Hopeful.......

Our Second Chance to try again starts next week.... my emotions are high, and low.... I don't know what to feel, what to think...

Will I be okay?

Will I be neurotic?

Can I stay calm?

Will I be able to handle the daily meds?

Will it happen our first try?

Will it take a few months?

How much will I spend in tests? (LOL)

I know we have our Angel Timothy Joseph watching over us, and making sure we are safe... as well as many other Angels!

Wish us Luck!

Starting Over....

We had our appointment with our High Risk doctor on June 29th... he gave us the "go ahead" to start trying again... We're just going to have to take things day by day... and I will have to overcome one of my phobias! But I guess after everything I went through last time, I should be able to do anything and everything this time. I love that my husband tells me that I'm strong and can do it... I will just have to remember:

"Promise me you'll always remember...

You're BRAVER than you believe,

and STRONGER than you seem,

and SMARTER than you think."

- Christopher Robin to Pooh